What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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