Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
