i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
