So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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