Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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