I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
