I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
