Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am available for nakedness
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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