i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
