she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize