I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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