found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
