I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
