There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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