he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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