Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
