I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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