escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
