we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
