She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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