I just saw a hot homeless man
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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