1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
worst night to have a conscience
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
