we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
