I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
