My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
