Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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