I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
