i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
