she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
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At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize