I'm jealous of your bromance
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
