if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
