awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
