So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
