he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Terrible idea I love it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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