You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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