lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
