so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
