i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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