I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
