He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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