IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
