My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
