great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
