we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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