If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
