I'm so fucking centered right now
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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