Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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