And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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