I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk is a universal language darling
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