will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
