Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
