I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
