he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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