As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
