I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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