We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
