I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dicks are not precious.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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