lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
