I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
